Michelle's Presidential Credit Card Declined

White House darlings, Barack and Michelle Obama, are having problems after the First Lady's presidential credit card was declined in Spain. Michelle and daughter Sasha were on official business having lunch with King Juan Carlos and Queen Sophia at their modest summer palace on the island of Majorca. There they discussed the best priced local resorts and how to provide much needed stimulus to Spain's economy.

The mother daughter pair then flew to the coastal city of Marbella checking in at the Budget Villa Padierna. There they enjoyed some quality mother-daughter time lounging about and stimulating Spain's economy in these dire times. To offset the carbon footprint of the trip, the two took long walks on the beach charging their bodies with solar energy and holding their breath as often as possible.

The trip was going splendidly until Michelle's presidential credit card was declined while attempting to pay for an estimated $95,000 in hotel costs for her near seventy members of security personnel, their $273 a day government per diem, $146,000 of US Air Force 757 airfare, and the cost of about a dozen vehicles in her motorcade. The First Lady left shocked and embarrassed after being forced to write a check from the Social Security coffers to settle the bill.

Things didn't get any easier when the First Lady returned to the White House. After examining the transaction history it was discovered that the president had spent billions of dollars trying to stimulate anything and everything including pet projects, pork, and an unidentified woman using the name Lilly Ledbetter. As things began to spin out of control for the president, White House Press Secretary Robert Fibs released a statement saying, “I have spoken with the President and First Lady and I can assure you that the President has never stimulated anything.”

We here at Rancor News disagree. The president has spent much of his first term in office stimulating things like racial tension. Robert Gates and the "beer summit," Black Panther case dropped, latinos deported taking their kids out for ice cream, the list goes on and on.

Tyson Bam
August 7th, 2010

If you enjoyed this article you may also enjoy our in depth compilation of A Complete List of Good Liberal Ideas