Sex on a kid's mind

When a child under the age of 12 talks a lot about sex, his parents should immediately get him professional help.

Counsellor Philip Ang says: "Children that age should not have explicit sexual knowledge, so when they talk so much about it, it means they must have had some form of sexual exposure."

Dr Brian Yeo, a psychiatrist who specialises in treating children and adolescents, says that 'when young children exhibit behaviour that is inappropriate for their age', they are likely to be hyper-sexualised.

According to him, excessive masturbation, provocative acts such as exposing one's private parts and engaging in simulated sex acts are tell-tale signs of age-inappropriate behaviour.

In a recent case in Singapore that got a 38-year-old private tutor sentenced to six years' jail and six strokes of the cane, a nine-year-old boy initiated sex acts with the man.

The boy, now 11, had started talking to his former tutor about sex, which later led to him performing oral sex on the man on five occasions.

In court, Dr Cai Yiming, a psychiatrist from the Child Guidance Clinic, diagnosed the boy as showing "hyper-sexualised behaviour" and that he needed psychiatric help to control his sexual fantasies and desires.

Dr Parvathy Pathy, senior consultant at the Institute of Mental Health's department of child and adolescent psychiatry, says alarm bells should go off in parents' heads if their children are "pre-occupied with masturbation and cannot function normally without thinking of it".

Dr Carol Balhetchet, director of youth services at the Singapore Children's Society, adds: "A child who has been a victim of sexual abuse or grooming may mistakenly think that engaging in sex acts is one way of getting attention from an adult."

Dr Yeo further cautions: "Boys who have been sexually abused may also face confusion over their sexual orientation when they grow up."

Besides sexual abuse, other reasons for hyper-sexualised behaviour in children include exposure to pornography and sexual activity.

Sometimes, the discovery of sexual behaviour might be accidental.

"Some children find that they feel relaxed when they masturbate or they feel a physical sensation when they touch themselves," says Dr Parvathy, who has come across a case of a four-year-old boy who tried to touch the private parts of other boys at a child-care centre.

Whatever the cause, adults dealing with such a case should stay calm.

"A child who masturbates might think that it is an innocent thing to do. So if adults panic, they might cause the child to be alarmed unnecessarily," says Dr Balhetchet, who last year encountered the case of a seven-year-old boy who simulated love making on a younger girl while lying on top of her.

- The Straits Times/Asia News Network

Published July 18 2010